


welcome to eden, i'll be your snake

by datranon



Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Act 3 spoilers, Angst, Depression, Gen, Not Proofread, Time Travel, serena goes through a lot and i just wanted to write about it, uhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 19:01:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21276137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/datranon/pseuds/datranon
Summary: Sometimes, Serena dreams she had died instead.





	welcome to eden, i'll be your snake

**Author's Note:**

> im trying to commit nano and i have an original thing lined up but i really wanted to start off with a drabble because since dq11s came out ive been thrust back into this hell. here's day 1, just some words on a document about serena that are almost incoherent. enjoy!
> 
> title is lyrics from welcome to eden by samia! listen to it and die.

Every so often, Serena would dream that she had died instead.

Of course, she knew it would have been improbable- impossible, even, that she could have used her meagre magical might to save the others. She didn’t have the quick wit of her sister, the self-sacrificing disposition Veronica had tried so hard to keep covered up under layers of sarcasm and snark. When the branches of the World Tree were stripped of their leaves, Eleven unconscious as a nightmare raged around him, Serena had blanked- but Veronica had not, and so she died.

Despite absorbing Veronica’s powers, she still thought about that, and the guilt weighed over Serena like she was dragging the corpse of her twin on her back, desperately clinging onto her even though it was too late and it had been months, almost a year since her death, and her body was nowhere to be found.

In this dream, she would know. Her hair was still long, but she was not the same. Everyone else would be none the wiser, and when the time came, Serena would take the initiative for once in her life and sacrifice herself- Veronica, intelligent, talented, special Veronica would be fine. Serena was happy with that; Veronica was a better Watcher. She had always been slow, after all. And when she woke up, usually in the dead of night, she would reach to the back of her neck to find it bare, and she would sob, quietly, so not to awaken her friends. It was _selfish_\- in her dream, she took away all of Veronica’s autonomy, and for what?

She would think back to when Veronica found her sleeping in that Crypt west of Hotto, how she’d thought her dead- her panic, hastily waved off, Serena too preoccupied with questioning her older sister’s change in appearance to instead question her reaction. If Serena had died, her even younger life cut even shorter- Veronica…

“_She’s still with me_,” she had choked through her tears that night in Arboria, “_through her powers. Thank you, dear sister…_”  
  
She had accepted it. She had been fine. Never mind that she would still look to her side and expect Veronica’s stark red dress, her laugh around the campfire, her quips and her rare, soft moments, where she would smile at her sister or the Luminary with such life in her eyes. She had her staff, and that should have been enough. Serena had always been a selfish girl.

_I cannot help being this way, _she concluded. _Without her physically here to put me on the right track..._

♕

“You… can save her? You can truly bring her back?”

The Timekeeper’s promise seemed almost unreal. There would be only one drawback. Serena glanced to her left, Eleven standing with his shoulders squared, staring unblinking at the Timekeeper. To his other side, Erik was for sure mimicking Serena’s expression, though she would suspect his despair was far greater.

“You can’t do this.” He muttered, stifling a break in his voice.

Serena echoed the sentiment. She- she had dreamed about this. (But of course, it wouldn’t be her going back with her memories intact to save her sister. It would be the Luminary. She knew that.)

“I think I have to. Being Luminary- it… it means my life is not my own.”

They knew it was true, though vocalising it made it no less unpleasant a reality. It was a truth that had hung in the air their entire journey like a thick fog. Still, even now, as Eleven stood motionless with the Sword of Light gripped in his right hand so tight his knuckles were white, nobody could speak up, because he was right.

“I’m sorry, but we simply can’t let you do this! I- we… it is too risky. You heard what they said about being lost to time!” Serena said, stepping in front of Eleven. He continued to stare forward, even when the Timekeeper’s elongated form was obscured by Serena’s full height directly in front of him. It was unnerving, the way he didn’t flinch, brows still creased in deep contemplation.

I cannot stop him, dawned upon her as his face collapsed and he walked past her without looking her in the eye, up to the Sphere.

Serena opened and shut her mouth like a fish, searching for the right words to say. She was never a star under pressure.

Even if she could stop him from leaving to bring back Veronica, that would not be enough. It wasn’t just about Veronica; it was about the countless thousands who also died when Yggdrasil had fallen, and it was about fulfilling his true destiny as the Luminary. Not even his companions could get in the way of that, not even his grandfather or sister or whatever Erik was to him, and not her, one half of a dead hero from long ago.

Serena could only hope she would not stand in his way, that she wouldn’t burden him anymore that she had in this time.

  
♕

Veronica was by her side, and she was crying.  
  
Serena wasn’t sure why- her sister had never been the emotional type. Their descent from Yggdrasil with Sir Hendrik and the King in tow had been… underwhelming, even to Serena- when guiding the Luminary to the World Tree had been her purpose since birth, constantly hammered in since she was old enough to understand it, anything less than a world-shaking event would be disappointing. All there had been as Jasper- a lonely knight spouting traitorous lies, quickly disposed of without much of a fight at all. In some way, she felt pity for him.

They were waiting- in Arboria, the square, while the others dealt with their Heliodorian consorts and prepared for the journey back to the Castle for a celebration. The sisters had managed to get away from it all, Serena needing to do some quiet contemplation. They sat under the square of the holy village, a river flowing beneath them under the cover of foliage and the bridge that led in from the Highlands.

Serena placed a soft hand upon her sister’s shoulder, a gentle squeeze of reassurance. It might have been because Veronica was always more of a Sage than Serena- after all, Veronica was able to cast spells from when she could walk, whereas Serena only learned at age ten. Naturally, she’d be more affected by this than her. Fulfilling her duty as Serenica’s scion held more weight. After all, Serena had never unlearned her inferiority complex from childhood.

_Oh, come on, Serena, pull yourself together. It- it’s not that deep._

Veronica almost melted away as she was startled by the sudden arrival of one certain thief sitting himself down on Serena’s free side.

“It doesn’t feel real,” Erik mumbled. Serena turned to face him with a start.

“Oh, gosh, Erik, you gave me a shock.”

He snorted a short laugh. “Sorry. Can’t help bein’ sneaky.”

Serena doubted Veronica was paying attention, still leaning over with her face in her hands. Serena gave her shoulder another squeeze before properly acknowledging her friend. "You alright? How come you're not with Eleven?"

"Ah..." Erik let out through clenched teeth. "Just a pain in the backside to skirt around all those royals, you know. Still a little uncomfortable with Hendrik around, and the King, of course. You do know they locked me in a dungeon for almost four months."

Serena hummed, looking into the distance. "That's understandable, yes." A pause, that she took to process what Erik had actually said, and she turned towards him with some measure of urgency. "You- just a moment ago, you mentioned this not feeling real."

"... And?"

"Well... I was just. Wondering what exactly you meant."

“I- I don’t know. Can’t really explain the feeling. I’m happy, of course, that now we have the Sword of Light and actually stand a chance against Mordegon,” he sighed and looked away, back towards where he came. “But I just thought it would be something more.”

She understood, because in a way, she felt the exact same. “For a moment, I was sure something horrible was going to happen.”

A sniffle at her side forced her to look away from the thief, to her sister. She had wiped the tears from her face, which was still red and puffy, but at least now plastered with her signature scowl. “Are you two going to stop whispering to each other about Yggdrasil-knows-what or what? I am here, you know.”

Something tugged in Serena’s chest, but she couldn’t quite place it. In spite of it, a small smile graced her lips. “I know.”

And she was glad it had been uneventful.

**Author's Note:**

> i got a couple things mentioned in the third 'section' from the transcript for serena and veronica's audio drama- you should read it! it makes me fucking cry!!!! https://pastebin.com/eriPCsCw
> 
> let me know who else i should write shitty drabbles about this nano in the comments if you enjoyed this!!


End file.
